Meena Chhantyal – Meena Chhantyal's Blog Site

Are we smart with our smart phone? (Part 2)

I promised myself that I will reduce my screen time and surprisingly I kept that promise. My YouTube and Google had histories of me searching for ways to reduce screen time and the irony was, I was using my phone. Then, I found “Break up with your phone” and my formal process started.

Somewhere in between the process, the pandemic of COVID-19 happened and made us stay home all the time, one more strong excuse to use our phone even rigorously.

When I shared my previous posts about the smartphone, I received various mixed responses.

“That’s true. I will be mindful of how I use my phone.”

“That’s so true but I don’t think that’s possible.”

“If you are not using your phone, it’s just mean that you have found something else to do.”

“I realized that I am not even as addicted as much as you’re.”

“But phones are useful. How will you be connected to people if you don’t use a phone?”

“If you are not using your phone, what are you doing then? How are you spending your time?”

The questions are obvious but I want to emphasize that I do use my phone and I do believe it’s important but just that I really believe that reducing my screen time has really helped me stay productive and stay present. I want to share the tips that I applied in the process of reducing screen time.

The “why” behind reducing screen time: I think this is the most crucial step to breaking any habit. Every voluntary change starts with self-awareness. I wanted to reduce my phone usage because I felt like I just did not have enough time to do things I needed to do and things I wanted to do while I was spending so much of my time on my phone scrolling the unending newsfeed of social media. It just meant that I was compromising my time on my phone When I could have done so many other “necessary” things.
Write it out: On Nov 16, 2019, I analyzed my phone usage and titled “Detaching from the Digital World”. I wrote the hours I spend on that day, that week, and specifically the amount on each category such as social media, reading, productivity, etc. It is equally important to know why we are using your phone as much as why we do not want to. So, I wrote “who are reasons”, “what are the reasons” and “what I could have done”. I think visualizing the things that were in my head on a paper, really shaped out the rest of my activities that I did to reduce my screen time.
Remove social media apps: After I wrote it out, the first thing I found was I did spend a lot of my time on social media. So, that was my first step. I removed all of my social media apps. Later, I even removed Gmail and email. If needed to use anything, I would need to open a browser. I open my laptop instead of my phone to do all those stuff now. So, technically, I may not have reduced to use social media but not having a phone around me all the time, did help to reduce a lot of distraction.
Schedule call time: To schedule a call is not always possible or feasible but if it is, I think it’s a great idea. I told each of my “who are the reasons” people to call me directly or in Viber instead of the messenger. There are far more limited people in Viber than a messenger and it’s not as addictive as a messenger. This has made me realize that I do not need to take my phone everywhere or open social media feeling like I missed something and instead miss myself out there for hours or so.
Turning off notification: Every notification wanted me to have my hand on my phone. So, I turned everything off. If I want to know anything, I would open it directly. Initially, I started to use and open those apps even more because I felt I must have missed something but nope, there is nothing special that needed any immediate attention.
Keep the phone away: I started to keep my phone away from me and my bed while I sleep. I still remember the feeling at first, I was like, what if I needed to see the time, what if I woke up in the middle of the night? I did it anyway, it felt good. Instead of checking my phone and keep watching it for another hour, I slept. Instead of waking up suddenly and keep scrolling my newsfeed, I would stare for a while and sleep. I started to do it during the daytime as well. I would leave my phone in my room and go to the kitchen or restroom or other areas where the phone does not add any significant value but just distraction. I am still not 100% phone proof and do take my phone with me in various places but way less than before.
Utilizing my time: If we don’t use our phone and also don’t do any other kinds of stuff, we would come back again to use our dear phone. With the time freed recently, I have started to read books, started blogging, and also let my mind wander for a while. I even find time to stretch myself a little bit sometime, that I need to increase. I find myself having more time than before. Well, to be honest, it’s also because of Quarantine as I don’t waste my time on the commute but it’s also true that if I am using my phone every time I am free, I am actually not free at all.

I hope it helps a little if anyone wants to reduce screentime and utilize that time to do anything they want or need to do. It’s not easy to just tell ourselves and not use our phone but I strongly believe that we can by applying appropriate steps if we think we should.

Loneliness

What does “loneliness” mean? I don’t mean to look up for a dictionary meaning. What does loneliness mean to you? “I may be alone but I’m not lonely.” Or “I’m surrounded by people I know but I’m still lonely.” What do they mean? All I can see is having some people around you doesn’t mean you aren’t lonely.

You need to have a connection with them to not feel lonely. It does not have to be the lover’s kind or family kind. We can feel lonely even with those. It could be as small as having the same interest or could a simple smile or a nice “Hello”. It is the connection that warms your heart. As long as there is that one kind person in one’s world, he is not lonely. That person doesn’t need to be the kindest one in the world. He doesn’t need to speak sweet words, nor does he need to help you every single time. All he needs to do is stand there besides waiting. Waiting not for what you bring but for you. Yeah, some may say it sounds like love. Yes, it is but not the kind between lovers and family. It’s the kind between two living beings. It’s the kind that helps you stand at the edge of the cliff because you know, even if you don’t believe in yourself, they will and you know if you were to fall, they are there to save you.

Yet, this is not the only way this connection works. There are people who don’t need someone to praise you. What they need is someone to have a race, a competition with them. They want someone to push them down so they can rise stronger than before. I don’t mean physically. It may be mentally or spiritually. This connection may not be based on trust like “they will save you if you need.” but I believe it’s more like “I know you are good, but I will be better.” There is also a connection between opponents or rivals that people often do not talk about. Yes, it may not be a warm feeling, but it ignites the feeling that pushes you to do better. This feeling is strongly seen in competitive people. This feeling may turn bad or may make people take a wrong turn, but it may also save people from loneliness. It may also help a person to take another step-in life when they think there is nothing else to do. A step forward just so they don’t lose to that person. When you think nobody is beside you, a rival can push you to do more.

Thus, I believe loneliness is the feeling you get because of the absence of that connection, not because of the absence of people. They don’t have to be close to you all time or more, they don’t even have to be the person you have met before. They may be millions of miles away, at any point in life, and doing anything they like or they may not be even a human being. All they need to do is to have a connection, making you feel that you may not see them, touch them or hear them but they are there, waiting for you so today, you become better than you were yesterday and tomorrow better than you are today. When you break and think you can’t handle, they will step in to pick you up, understand you, and give you the push you need, in many different forms, to get to greater heights.

-I C Shawn

This blog is a guest post I received from one of my friends. I found it very interesting to dig dipper into the topic of loneliness and realize that we can avoid it by having someone in our life that pushes us to be a better version of ourselves and that can be a family or lover or friend or even our pet. How do you cope up with loneliness if you ever feel lonely? I would really like to have feedback or your opinions. You can leave your comments or email me directly at meenachhantyal51@gmail.com about this or any blog or even give me suggestions to improve. Thank you so much for your time.

Are we smart with our smartphone? (Part 1)

When was the last time you went to restroom without your smartphone? or ate food without scrolling the news feed? or simply had ‘a day’ without your smartphone or any digital devices? For most of us, it’s hard to remember because there might not be that time anyway. Our phone is by our side all the time but is it really on our side?

Everyone I knew, knew that I spend a lot of time on my phone but what I also knew was that everyone spends a lot of time on their phone. So, technically I am not doing anything that’s not acceptable. When the “screen-time” feature of iPhone showed that I spend six or seven, sometime even eight or more hours on my phone, I really needed to make a conscious choice of how I spend my time. On one hand, I was always short of time and on the other hand, I spend more than half of the day on my phone. Seriously!

I still remember the time when there were no smartphones. What we had was a telephone that stuck at one corner of the house, unlike smartphone that goes everywhere with us from restroom to kitchen to bedroom. Whenever I got distracted from my study, I used to write poems at the corner of my page, not pull out my phone and start scrolling. Me and my sister used to discuss about all the things we read, write, see and experienced, my friends would talk and laugh together when we went out to eat until smartphone became handy and internet became available at fingertips. Then, we started to spend more time with our phone, of course. Does it mean that I don’t like smartphone? want to thrash it and wish we never had a smartphone? No! I like smartphone and appreciate all the advantages it comes with. It’s the phone and internet that is connecting me to the near and dear ones that I am not physically close with. Literally, I can google everything I am curious or confused about. Entertainment has become easy, learning has become easy, connecting has become easy. What I really want is to have more self control over myself and my phone usage because more than anything, distraction has become easy.

While I was listening to podcast, I came across a book named “How to break up with your phone” by Catherine Price. I had already deleted most of my social media apps from my phone. So, it was easy for me to follow her guidelines and actually be in the process of breaking up with my phone. I won’t say it is really smooth because it isn’t. There are times when I reached out to my phone consciously and unconsciously. Also, I feel like I am cheating because I may not be spending a lot of my time on my phone but I do spend it on my laptop. Yet, I think it’s okay because using laptop instead of phone creates a little barrier, making me think before I actually open it if it is just to surf the internet.

The good thing is, I may not have transformed into a whole new person who actually uses phone wisely but I am progressing. Now, I don’t take my phone to my bed or restroom or kitchen all the time like before. I don’t spend scrolling Facebook or instagram every now and then, or watch all the random videos in YouTube that does not make sense at all. I use it and still learning to use it wisely. I am learning to be at present, stay idle without doing anything or only doing the thing I am doing.

Hello Everyone

Hello Everyone,

I am Meena Chhantyal.

Well, beside my name, I can say anything I want for my introduction right? I am not bound by questions about my major, profession etc. etc. etc. like all the other times. Yippee!!!

If I had to describe myself in just one sentence I would say, “I’m a constant learner.” and blogging happens to be one of the things I wanted to explore for a really long time. Yet, there were things I needed to do but did not know how. I was never ready to start blogging. So, it never really happened until now. I am still not ready but whatever. I will die but still not be ready.

About me? I love reading books but have not read much recently because of my classes and work or maybe because I am not really into books as much as I think. Who knows? I may be just making excuses. I love writing. I love listening to songs. Oh! I love sleeping too. I want to start blogging because one thing, I really want to do blogging and the other, let’s see what I can actually do.

I will be posting all the random stuff from study tips to career to poems and stories. I won’t be concentrating on one thing and you know why? Because I don’t know which one to concentrate on. I want to do many things and I like many things. So, here we start…