{"id":2775,"date":"2022-11-29T19:23:57","date_gmt":"2022-11-29T23:23:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.ubalt.edu\/welter\/?page_id=2775"},"modified":"2022-11-30T20:05:10","modified_gmt":"2022-12-01T00:05:10","slug":"no-scones","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/blogs.ubalt.edu\/welter\/poetry-archive\/no-scones\/","title":{"rendered":"No Scones"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Takeout

Box of Sticky Rice by Thad DeVassie<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

No Scones<\/h1>\n

Noah Berlatsky<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We wanted to buy the British Vogue with Timoth\u00e9e Chalamet on the cover.
\nBut they did not have the British Vogue with Timoth\u00e9e Chalamet on the cover.
\nThe day is sexless and without glamour.
\nThe lumpy pit bulls cry at the door because they are not greyhounds.
\nThe classical guitarist plays a mournful song on a guitar that is not even blue.
\nThe Queen is dead and we have to read the Vogue memorial edition
\nand nothing else
\nout here on the patio that is too small
\nout here with large-eyed pigeons who do not comprehend
\nwhy they have been scattered on the pavement like discarded feathery things
\nbeneath a sky so sconeless.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Noah Berlatsky<\/b> tried being a poet some twenty years back and failed miserably. So he\u2019s trying again. He won an Honorable Mention in the 2022 Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry contest, which was encouraging. He tweets too much at @nberlat and scribbles longer at Everything is Horrible! (<\/span>noahberlatsky.substack.com<\/span><\/a>).<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thad DeVassie<\/strong> is a multi-genre writer and fine art painter who creates from the outskirts of Columbus, Ohio. He is the author of SPLENDID IRRATIONALITIES<\/em>, which was awarded the James Tate International Poetry Prize in 2020 (SurVision Books), and YEAR OF STATIC<\/em>, a chapbook containing original paintings and micro prose (Ghost City Press, 2021). More of his written and painted works can be found at www.thaddevassie.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  No Scones Noah Berlatsky   We wanted to buy the British Vogue with Timoth\u00e9e Chalamet on the cover. But they did not have the British Vogue with Timoth\u00e9e Chalamet Continue Reading →<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6093,"featured_media":0,"parent":1261,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubalt.edu\/welter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2775"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubalt.edu\/welter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubalt.edu\/welter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubalt.edu\/welter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6093"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubalt.edu\/welter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2775"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubalt.edu\/welter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2775\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3282,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubalt.edu\/welter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2775\/revisions\/3282"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubalt.edu\/welter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1261"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubalt.edu\/welter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2775"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}