Loneliness

What does “loneliness” mean? I don’t mean to look up for a dictionary meaning. What does loneliness mean to you? “I may be alone but I’m not lonely.” Or “I’m surrounded by people I know but I’m still lonely.” What do they mean? All I can see is having some people around you doesn’t mean you aren’t lonely.

You need to have a connection with them to not feel lonely. It does not have to be the lover’s kind or family kind. We can feel lonely even with those. It could be as small as having the same interest or could a simple smile or a nice “Hello”. It is the connection that warms your heart. As long as there is that one kind person in one’s world, he is not lonely. That person doesn’t need to be the kindest one in the world. He doesn’t need to speak sweet words, nor does he need to help you every single time. All he needs to do is stand there besides waiting. Waiting not for what you bring but for you. Yeah, some may say it sounds like love. Yes, it is but not the kind between lovers and family. It’s the kind between two living beings. It’s the kind that helps you stand at the edge of the cliff because you know, even if you don’t believe in yourself, they will and you know if you were to fall, they are there to save you.

Yet, this is not the only way this connection works. There are people who don’t need someone to praise you. What they need is someone to have a race, a competition with them. They want someone to push them down so they can rise stronger than before. I don’t mean physically. It may be mentally or spiritually. This connection may not be based on trust like “they will save you if you need.” but I believe it’s more like “I know you are good, but I will be better.” There is also a connection between opponents or rivals that people often do not talk about. Yes, it may not be a warm feeling, but it ignites the feeling that pushes you to do better. This feeling is strongly seen in competitive people. This feeling may turn bad or may make people take a wrong turn, but it may also save people from loneliness. It may also help a person to take another step-in life when they think there is nothing else to do. A step forward just so they don’t lose to that person. When you think nobody is beside you, a rival can push you to do more.

Thus, I believe loneliness is the feeling you get because of the absence of that connection, not because of the absence of people. They don’t have to be close to you all time or more, they don’t even have to be the person you have met before. They may be millions of miles away, at any point in life, and doing anything they like or they may not be even a human being. All they need to do is to have a connection, making you feel that you may not see them, touch them or hear them but they are there, waiting for you so today, you become better than you were yesterday and tomorrow better than you are today. When you break and think you can’t handle, they will step in to pick you up, understand you, and give you the push you need, in many different forms, to get to greater heights.

                                                                               -I C Shawn

This blog is a guest post I received from one of my friends. I found it very interesting to dig dipper into the topic of loneliness and realize that we can avoid it by having someone in our life that pushes us to be a better version of ourselves and that can be a family or lover or friend or even our pet. How do you cope up with loneliness if you ever feel lonely?  I would really like to have feedback or your opinions. You can leave your comments or email me directly at meenachhantyal51@gmail.com about this or any blog or even give me suggestions to improve. Thank you so much for your time.