Solid Single
Kenneth Pobo
Mom wept when I came out to her sophomore year and said, “I love the New York Yankees best.”
She was OK when I came out as gay, but the Yankees? Surely, I was kidding. She’d take a bullet for any Cubs player. Each loss was a personal affront. In church, she played organ, and although I found church to be a bore, only going to placate her, I enjoyed when she hit the keys for “Drinking at the Springs of Living Water.” I didn’t get the song. Isn’t all water living? What would dead water be? I sang along anyway. I thought of asking Pastor Peterson, but he didn’t like kids to “pester” him.
Mom liked Jesus as long as she could make him into what she wanted him to be: an elastic Saviour. She liked that he could see everything that went on, a good way to keep an eye on me when I was out of the house. Even now, I feel watched by the Invisible. It’s comforting—and disconcerting.
Jesus was kind of a Super Cub to her, one with a perfect batting average who also threw shutouts. As such, she felt he deserved her prayers. She often prayed that my dad would return to us—even though she mostly badmouthed him and called him “the ne’er-do-well.” I don’t remember much about him beyond a picture of me on his lap on a red upholstered chair.
Another losing season. More stomping around using language she would never use in any other circumstance. I go to college next year, Southern Illinois University, about 200 miles from home. She says I can come home on holidays, provided I never wear a Yankees shirt. I can bring home a boyfriend, but no hanky panky.
I feel ready to risk. I’m tired of sitting on the bench. It’s time to come to the plate. I have to drink some water, see if it is living or not, take a swing, and aim for a solid single just over the infield.
Kenneth Pobo (he/him) is the author of twenty-one chapbooks and nine full-length collections. Recent books include Bend of Quiet (Blue Light Press), Loplop in a Red City (Circling Rivers), Lilac And Sawdust (Meadowlark Press), and Gold Bracelet in a Cave: Aunt Stokesia (Ethel Press). His work has appeared in North Dakota Quarterly, Asheville Literary Review, Nimrod, Mudfish, Hawaii Review, and elsewhere. @KenPobo